Saturday, January 22, 2011

Never Kill A Boy On The First Date

Episode #5: Never Kill A Boy On The First Date

"I lost my Emily.

File this under: Buffy wants a normal life!

Owen "He can brood for 40 minutes straight" Thurman takes an interest in Buffy, as well as black turtlenecks, poetry, old-timey watches, and all things morbid. You at home might be wondering, "Aren't he and Angel essentially the same character?" Well, Owen is blonde.

Giles is tirelessly researching as per usual and says, "Buffy! You may not go on a date with Owen, because I found a fancy shmancy ring in a graveyard that must mean something dangerous! Also, you may not have a normal life!" After making some grandiose pronouncements about how the end of the world is imminent and must be stopped that night, there's a good bit of humor when the shot cuts to Giles and Buffy sitting in the graveyard alone, no demons in sight, Buffy slurping an extra-large Diet Coke. The first season really tries to set up Buffy's problem with authority, Giles being the "authority," who is basically a curmudgeonly stick-in-the-mud who just doesn't give a damn how long Owen can brood.

Over Giles' protestations, Buffy and Owen reschedule their date for the following night. As Xander and Willow help her pick an outfit, Xander tries to sneak a peek at an unclothed Buffy in the mirror. Aww, so charming! Boys will be boys!! Giles shows up just before Owen to remind Buffy of her sacred calling™, but she's sooo over being stood up by vampires in a graveyard.

Turns out Giles was right, as The Master's minions go hunting to turn a bunch of humans into vamps and create The Anointed One, who will somehow be very important in one way or another. This is probably the first episode that's downright creepy--a group of vampires overturn a bus and pick each of the passengers off one-by-one. Not only is the show unafraid to kill high school kids, but we see here that it also has no problem killing little kids! Little kids who look like John Cusack!!

Owen and Buffy go on an ill-fated date that has an untimely ending in a funeral home because they assume The Anointed One's body will have been brought there. Buffy has to stop the Anointed from rising without telling Owen what she's up to, but no matter, he thinks funeral homes are SO COOL and Buffy is one down chick for taking him there on the first date! "Are we going to see a dead body??" he asks excitedly. "Possibly several," Buffy responds.

Long story short, Giles arrives at the funeral home looking for Buffy and has to hide with a body until she shows. Together they kill The Anointed One, but Buffy thinks Owen has died when really it's only a flesh wound. He comes to and assures her that he totally could've taken those hooligans (he, like most of Sunnydale, lacks the critical consciousness to recognize vampires), and you're sitting there like, how? By throwing your book of Emily Dickinson poems at them? Unfortunately, Owen and Buffy aren't meant to be. He's kind of brooding-lite, while Angel is the real deal. And while Buffy and Giles were all busy shoving who they thought was the Anointed into an incinerator, it turns out that the Anointed is actually--LITTLE JOHN CUSACK!

[How do you like that face now?]

Favorite moment: Buffy's. Leopard. Coat.


  1. Oh my god! That little kid looks EXACTLY like John Cusack!

    1. Actually Andrew J. Ferchland is the boy who played the anointed one, it couldn't be John Cusack, since he is much older ;) But the kid could certainly pass as his child ^^