"You could try blowing up the school, they're real strict about that."
Oh, The Harvest! What is The Harvest? This is unimportant. What matters are the danceable grunge bands playing at The Bronze that week, and Buffy's SUPER high ponytail, and Xander and Willow being all, "huh vampires what"
If you could not tell from Episode #1, one very essential fact of the series will become painfully obvious to you: Xander is a tool. He will continue to be a tool, forever. After Jesse is captured by the vampires, the group reconvenes in the school library to strategize with Giles. Buffy feels that she should go back and fight the vampires alone because she's the slayer and has slayer strength, causing Xander to become Mopey McMopesalot and passive-aggressively whine that Buffy thinks he is inadequate and not man enough. Yes, Xander. That is exactly what this is about.
Anyway, back at the crypt, Buffy runs into the ever-mysterious David Boreanaz, who seems more like a frat boy than the brooding, damaged soul we will come to know and love. He introduces himself as Angel. "Pretty name!" Buffy says, but in a haughty tone characteristic of someone who is embarrassed to have a big crush on David Boreanaz. He still refuses to say who he is, and upon my first watching I totally bought into all this and wanted soooo badddlly to know Angel's deal, like, what a hunk. He cannot convince her to stay out of The Master's lair, though, where she runs into Xander (moping) and discovers Jesse (now a vampire, and acting as Buffy-bait). Whoops! Turns out the vampires are already on their way to start The Harvest, that thing that for some reason I didn't quite catch would be bad.
The Master, by the way, is this season's big bad guy vamp who is essentially the exact same thing as Voldemort.
Buffy has to rush to The Bronze, where a bunch of vampires are about to kill everyone. Oh, back in the day when vampires were actually a threat to Buffy! Every human they feed on will also feed The Master, who is trapped in his underground dungeon. "GIMME MOOOOOORE!" he screams. (None of this plotline ever made much sense to me.) Of course, Buffy foils his plan, but the plot of this episode is not super exciting, at least not as much as the loud sound effects that signify impending vampires and sound like cats running up and down a piano, and badass shots of a backlit Buffy looking like she just dusted a vamp and were almost certainly made to put into the opening credits.
Favorite moment: Xander holds a stake up to his old friend Jesse but doesn't want to actually kill him. "I can't do this!" he says, until a random stranger accidentally bumps into Jesse and pushes him through the stake. Et tu?